With the New Year finally here and people straining their ideas to better themselves, I find myself struggling to find a single resolution I want to keep for the year. Like many other people, I’ve said once that I’ll lose weight, eat better, go to the gym more often, spend more time doing charitable work, but none of these seem to stick, (and I should know, I’ve been setting them for years now). I think that the problem with these, is that they are what I feel like I’m supposed to strive for. To work hard to better myself, or at least to appear to be bettering myself in others’ eyes. I’ve come to see that that doesn’t make me happy. It doesn’t make me feel better about myself. It just makes me feel bitter and in turn, I feel like I fail at something else.
I like doing charity work, and I will continue to do it, but it’s not one of my resolutions because I don’t want to feel forced to make a difference when that might not be the best way to do it. I want to enjoy my life, and not hold out on anything because I’m limiting my precious time on things I don’t really want to be doing. I’ve realized that I’m not the only person who feels this way but we continue to uphold our half-hearted resolutions in hoping that this year will be the year we all follow-through.
So instead, after visiting my best friend in Stratford, Ontario over the Christmas break, I discovered what my resolutions were from a spontaneous declaration while playing the game of Life. She pulled a card that called for all players to name their resolutions and then spin the wheel to collect some cash from the game bank. After we all thought quickly and responded, I found myself answering: “I want to call my family members and friends once a week, and I want to make sure to write once a week”. Plain and simple. This was the first time that I found myself deciding to do something for me, and mainly for my benefit. And though I realized that at first it might feel selfish, and I know that some of it is, I know that I’ll be sticking to those resolutions for once. I feel like over the years I’ve been trying so hard to do what I think I should do, that I’ve neglected what I want to do for much too long. I’ve postponed ideas and certain goals to work on these secondary, appropriate resolution.
This year, after having finally graduated from university and started my first real job, I think it’s time that I do something that I really want. I’ve compromised and done the reasonable things someone my age should do, and now I want to work on the goals I really want. I believe that doing that will leave me in a better mood; it will leave me feeling more fulfilled; it will deter me from making bad decisions because I’ll be working towards something that I hold dear. This doesn’t mean I won’t eat well, or won’t exercise, or won’t volunteer, but it means that for once, in 2017, I am making myself my own priority; and I think that’s the best resolution I’ve made so far!
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